Years

Years:

I often dream about things that I am excited about. The moments when reality meets my hopes are thrilling, but the fear of disappointment hangs over me as though I am anticipating a late-night knock at the door. 

I try to cling to those good memories and dreams, and I want to play them on an infinite loop. However, blocking out the moments of disappointment is difficult, and it often feels like I have no control over their presence in my thoughts. It often feels demoralizing, but I carry the urge to make it better. Grief, as a result of disappointment, can move me in ways that do not make sense. I can feel myself being changed by that grief, and it is often engulfing. This body of work, titled Years, is just a small manifestation of my complex, encompassing grief.